From Gil Fronsdal, BELLA, an approach for being mindful of the Five Hindrances:

B.E.L.L.A. = Be, Examine, Lessen, Let Go, Appreciate

  • Be: Let it be. Don’t act; don’t react; stay present.
  • Examine: Examine the components; uncover.
  • Lessen: Relax the body; focus on antidote, such as cultivating kindness. At worst, remove yourself.
  • Let Go: Once understood, let go.
  • Appreciate: When the hindrance is past, appreciate its absence; when no longer caught up, appreciate not being caught.

My Facebook Reduction Plan

It might seem strange that after surviving the (so far but barely) worst of the political season, it took a routine recurrence of the eternal Oxford Comma debate to force me to rethink my use of Facebook. But so it goes. After being tagged and trolled into another round of disputation in which the futility is rivaled in intensity only by my bewilderment that there is a debate at all1, I belatedly realized I need to become much more intentional in my use2 of Facebook. It was precisely because the comma debate was, as usual, so inordinately frustrating and draining—at least when engaging in conversation about politics it feels like there’s something actually important at play—that I knew I needed to re-consider my engagement.

Facebook faces what I believe to be an insoluble existential problem in being, as Mike Caulfield put it recently, an “identity platform that is being used as a news platform”3. But my immediate need isn’t about that, at least not directly. I don’t want to find a better way to get “news” from Facebook or expect Facebook to give me “better” news. I don’t need news from Facebook at all…I merely want to exert a little more control and make using Facebook a more positive experience while enjoying connections to friends, writers, fellow editors and other literary venues.

So, this is what I’ve done:

  • Created a few Friend Lists: one with the subset of people whose posts I want to see regularly, another with the subset of people whose posts I want to see regularly but who also tend to be excessively political or just too much, in some way, for me to read without preparing myself and a few others limited to magazines and literary venues, etc. The first list is my new starting point for Facebook.
  • Selected a very small group of friends to “See First” in my News Feed Preferences.
  • I still use Facebook messages to talk to some people, but I use the app (or the web app) so I don’t even see the News Feed or anything else when doing so.
  • Removed my “pinned” Facebook tab4 in my browsers.
  • Limited my Facebook time to promotion/sharing on my “official” pages and brief, timed sessions otherwise…and trying not to perform the latter in the morning.

The last two have been most important in combating my behavioral problems, using Facebook as a means of procrastination and feeding the gnawing black dog of depression. Plagued by insomnia, I found myself waking up (way too early) and pulling up Facebook with my morning coffee. Instead of reading or writing or attending to anything on my endless to-do list of vaguely creative tasks I ended up endlessly scrolling—and eventually rage-scrolling—in search of…I don’t know what. I don’t want to be a rat pushing a lever, much less one pushing a lever for a reward I can’t identify or define—and may never have existed in the first place. I had no answer to the questions I posed to myself as to what I might find that would make me want to stop scrolling or what positive result came from my routine feeding on Facebook.

The downside? Since I read a lot less and comment/like a lot less, I imagine I’m losing some of the network effects of interaction, resulting in lessened exposure not just of my own posts but those from concīs and Katexic Clippings too. I suppose I fall victim to the occasional niggling but of FOMO. I have one less thing to blame for laziness and sloth. And I do occasionally miss the loose-knit communities I’m part of there.5

None of this is rocket science; I’m mostly posting about it here as a signpost for my future self.

  1. My position: long live the Oxford Comma…where needed for clarity. As a friend noted, it might be too long for a bumpersticker. 
  2. Some friends of mine have dumped Facebook altogether. I still see too much value in the connections to friends, family, readers and writers—not to mention its ubiquity as an authentication hub—to go that far. And Facebook is a little insidious in requiring professional pages such as those for concīs and Katexic Clippings be connected to personal pages…and, I suspect, using one’s personal activity in Facebook as a magnifier for promotion, both literally and in visibility on other timelines. 
  3. The primary problem, the conflation of “news” and “News” is illustrated right there in Facebook’s titling of the “News Feed.” I suspect there’s no solution because it reflects that we as members of whatever groups we form, on social media or not, are de facto identity platforms through which we try to grok news. But that’s a mostly different thing. 
  4. I can’t believe I reached a point where I actually had pinned Facebook. 
  5. This is where I should invoke some analogy to illustrate that Faecbook isn’t evil, followed by mourning the loss of community that used to happen in blogs and other spaces, capped off with noting the catch-22 of reviving that community, all seasoned with a pinch of nostalgia about the loss of significant conversations like the ones we had in the good old days. 

Ultimate Productivity Theorem and Corollary

The simplest and most useful rule for productivity1, where “something” can be an action of any kind:

1. Ask yourself what will happen if you ignore something. If nothing, or nothing important, or no one cares, then do so.

And the corollary:

1a. Ask yourself what will happen if you stop doing something. If nothing, or nothing important, or no one cares, then do so.

It’s astounding how many things fall into one of these categories.

  1. Note: I’m defining “productivity” here as “helping me get things done that make me happy(ish).” 

The Destructiveness of Perfectionism

Thanks to Gardner Campbell for leading me to this article: The destructiveness of perfectionism: Implications for the treatment of depression.

Through the lens of three suicides by “remarkably” talented individuals, Sidney Blatt differentiates productive treatment of depression for “anaclitic” patients, who are “preoccupied with the quality of their interpersonal relationships,” from effective treatment for patients with an “introjective form of psychopathology,” or the self-critics who are high-level perfectionists. The former respond relatively well to “brief treatments” while the latter (that’s me) do not…but they/we do respond to long-term, intensive treatment.

It’s a dense article and I’m still connecting all the dots, but the closing paragraph recaps the most important point:

“…perfectionistic, highly self-critical individuals who have intense investment in issues of self-definition, self-control, and self-worth, although relatively unresponsive to a number of different forms of short-term treatment including medication, appear to be quite responsive to long-term, intensive, psychodynamiocally oriented therapy in both inpatient and outpatient settings.”

The longer description of “introjective psychopathologies” is important too because, while the article is also concerned with how society can support those individuals so they can “continue their important contributions,” I’m not in that group  of “remarkable” people for whom society should feel some collective obligation…but I am absolutely in the same clinical class, to wit:

“…a second group or configuration of disorders can be identified as introjective psychopathologies that include disorders in which primary concerns with establishing and maintaining a viable sense of self range from establishing a basic sense of separateness, to a preoccupation with autonomy and control, to more complex internalized issues of self-worth. These patients primarily use counteractive defenses (e.g., projection, rationalization, intellectualization, doing and undoing, reaction formation, and overcompensation). Introjective patients are more ideational and concerned with establishing, protecting and maintaining a viable self-concept than they are about the quality of their interpersonal relations or about achieving feelings of trust, warmth, and affection. Issues of anger and aggression, directed toward the self and/or others, are usually central to their difficulties.”

This so exactly describes me that if I were only a little more paranoid I’d think they’d looked through my records.

The question for me is: what do I do? I suspect that, almost by definition and supported by my own experimental evidence using myself as subject, being my own therapist isn’t going to work. But there’s nowhere for me to get the intense treatment the article recommends, particularly when I consider Blatt’s findings regarding the difficulty this group has  establishing a positive therapeutic relationship.